We were preparing for Christmas 2002 . We had taken Desiree , Faith, and Cheyenne to see Santa Claus at my work. Faith didn't like Santa Claus this year. I wasn't sure if it was her age 18 months or she didn't feel the best when she sat on his lap with Desiree.     I worked the second shift and my work week began on Monday. That morning my daughter Patti Ann called me to say Faith wasn't still feeling the best. I advised she should call her doctor. She asked me to stop on the way to work and bring her some baby Tylenol. I did that and seen  our little Faith wasn't very  well.     I called when I got off work and Faith wasn't keeping anything down. Patti Ann said if she wasn't any better by morning she was calling the doctor.     Tuesday came and I stopped again to see how Faith was doing. She had an appointment for Friday. That was as soon as she could see her.     Wednesday came and she still  wasn't up to par in keeping anything down or being her little happy self when I stopped. They had gotten her pedilyte but wasn't helping a lot. Told Patti I would stopped again tomorrow and check on her.     Thursday came and  she felt a little better so they were going to try and let her sleep in her crib. All week she was in bed with Patti Ann or sitting on the couch resting.     Friday I stopped and in the night when Faith was in her crib she tried getting out and fell. Patti Ann showed me her bruise on her forehead. She was better but not up to par. I told Patti Ann to show the bruise to the doctor when she took her.     I called Friday from work and asked what the doctor said. She said she was treating her for her nausea and Faith had Foot hand and mouth disease. As far as the bruise the doctor reminded Patti to put the mattress on the floor till Patti could get a small toddler bed for Faith.     Saturday I went with a friend  to a Christmas program. After we were to get the girls to go see the Christmas lights. Upon arriving at home after the program Desiree came running out of my home and said I had to go to the hospital. Patti was there with Faith.     I went to the hospital to find Faith in a coma like state. They were running tests. Finally they came to the conclusion she had  Shaken Baby Syndrome and didn't feel they could do anything. They transferred her to Children's  Hospital. I talked to Patti and her boyfriend and a girlfriend they had were the last two adults to be with her alone with the girls up stairs at two different times. The boyfriend was the last though even though the girlfriend  had spent some time upstairs too.     On Sunday they arrested the boyfriend. I told Patti and so did several others she needed to do the responsible thing and call Faith's Dad. I didn't know then but know now there had also been drugs in the home. from selling them to God knows what. I focused on Faith and stayed at the hospital. I felt it was Patti's place to call Faith's dad. I was going through so many emotions. My family part supportive and part upsetting to the point I just had them removed. I had so many Questions????? Would we ever know the truth.?????     Detectives said we had to give Desiree to the state. I was the one to go and get her and turn her over. The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Faith was dying and Desiree was going where we didn't know when we would see her.     Set up to have Faith christened. Patti's cousin contacted Faith's dad. I had no problem with him  there but he had a restraining order against him the hospital said they had to honor. I wanted them there but I didn't want to fight anyone or have anymore upsets. We had enough and Faith was dying. It was her time not ours. So many emotions. Then I found out my husband had been doing drugs there while visiting to get the girls  to pick them up for us to take them to see Christmas lights. this roller coaster ride was only getting worse. No wonder he kept leaving the hospital to go to the bar.     All her family had got to spend time with her and pray with her Faith that is. Except Desiree had know idea she was loosing her baby sister.     On Tuesday December 17th, 2002 in the late afternoon Faith passed over to heaven. Her dad and his family said good bye. Then Patti and I said good-bye. I held her last and sang Jesus Loves me to her.     Today my daughter's boyfriend is serving 50 to 75 years in jail for Shaken Baby Syndrome.     Desiree's dad has her and is raising her. We haven't seen her since July of 2004. Dan holds me and Patti guilty for what happened to Faith.     The questions I have and have had since this all became a nightmare are still there. I didn't get to sit in a court room and here any details cause I was a witness. All I can do is go on.     I love my grand children whether they are in my life or not. They didn't ask for the turmoil that parents have when they have problems. All they know is they want to be loved. This has certainly changed our family forever.     It started before that week before we lost Faith. Her parents had problems they couldn't get pass. But, I know this they both loved her in there own way.     I lost the grand children, I lost my daughter, She will never be the same, I got a divorce on a marriage that was bad anyway, I lost my job, and I basically died  inside.     I have been lucky enough to gain though. I now have a wonderful man in my life whom I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.  My Daughter makes baby steps but I don't know if she will ever be the same. I hope and pray Dan is doing good with Desiree. I still have trouble with being a grandma to my other grand children and that bothers me. I love them but if I get close will I loose them too.     This definitely changes a person. I hang on to an angel on your shoulder and pass it along and with a little bit of Faith it will come back to you. We will remember bubblesofFaith forever.  Grandma Mary Ann  The FINAL Analysis People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the FINAL analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway Please visit the links below Heavenly Lights Angels Forever Angels Forever Newsletter Treasured Emotions Angels Are With Us Battle Sids Remember Me Page created by Hayes' mom, Beth